Tuesday, February 5, 2019

Day 56- How NOT to be a Badass

It's a lesson it took me a lifetime to learn, and I think it's time to share it with you!

Alright kids, this is a picture of me in 5th grade.


I was rockin' my red-rimmed eyeglasses, "natural" hair, and a super cool jean overshirt. Pre-braces, guys. Right around this time was when I fell in deeply, passionately in love with Lord of the Rings. I kept copies of the trilogy within arm distance and taught myself to speak Elvish. This was right around the time the first and second films were released and... I'll tell you a secret. I was too embarrassed to admit it but I had a huuuuuuuuuge crush on Legolas, played by Orlando Bloom. Pretty much me and every other girl who watched the films. Although! One of my classmates loved Viggo Mortensen, so there you go. I didn't mind the fact that Orlando was a good 15 years my senior. That long blonde hair? Sigh. 

One of my best birthdays ever was in 6th grade. Because that was THE RELEASE DATE for The Return of the King so for my birthday night we went and watched it. Front row, center seats. 

Good stuff. But! We have to be brutally honest here, LOTR is a bit geeky. It's beautiful and epic and moving and impressive and wonderful but... just a tad geeky. Especially when you get to the level I was at.  Wanna know another secret? I didn't give a shit now or then! I AM A GEEK.

Back in 5th grade, I got the best report card of my life- straight A pluses, across the board. I don't know if you remember them, but we used to get Weekly Reader magazines in school, which had a few articles and a quiz on the back. Well we got one about LOTR and I was so involved drooling over it that I got a "C" on the quiz. When the class found out, they gasped, and I was humiliated. But I still have that magazine.

6th grade itself was not pleasant for me, but it's when I began to develop my personal style. I got my first pair of bondage pants and got a BLACK Good Charlotte t-shirt that I wore with pride even though some guy friends thought Good Charlotte was "pansy punk." They were kinda right, especially considering the music I got into later but I'll tell you something else. Good Charlotte's songs are damn catchy! I was actually talking to a very old friend of mine recently and we agreed we were no longer ashamed to admit it. The songs were good and we LIKED them. We still do!

And again, we're back to dorky.

In 7th grade some guy friends asked if I would join their band as bass player. I was terrified to go that first night because I'd never hung out with just a bunch of guys before but it. Was. Awesome. I stayed bass player in that band, Asunder, and then we went through a lineup change and became Dead End Philosophy.

We had several different jamming locations and had the police called on us more than once. We always warmed up playing the first five tracks of "Ashes of the Wake."

Pretty badass, right? WRONG, MY FRIEND. I'll tell you the most painful secret of all. When I headbang too much I get dizzy and fall over. Yes, it's happened, and no, I don't want to talk about it.

So here I am, years later. I have crazy-colored hair which some might think is nerdy for a 27 year old, but I loooooooooooooove it. I say things like "pardon" and "oh, bother," which can't be considered cool. I still keep up with Elvish but additionally learned some Dothraki from Game of Thrones.

I am similar to Daenerys, the Mother of Dragons but I'm the Mother of Cats. I have three black cats and I love them to the point of being a dorky cat lady. And I've got an idiot for a dog that I adore.

So learn from my mistakes. Or, better yet, be AS DORKY as you want to be. Be what makes you happy.

Okay?


Excellent.

Sarah

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