Day 31- LIES CATS TELL

Of course, every cat is different. But there are some similarities I think most pet (psshhh! They're wild) cats have. And those are lies that they tell us, their humans. I think even if you have never had cats before, you will find these to be true. What do you think?

• "I haven't eaten. In years." The MOST COMMON LIE of them all. You will hear this daily.
  
• "The red laser dot means nothing to me." Big fat lie. They are conditioned to listen even for the click of the laser, to find the red temptress and SMITE IT.
  
• "I would never tear around the house at 3:00 am." Indeed, 3 am is prime cat-craziness hours. They get this insane surge of energy and rip from one end of the house to the other, like kids play the "floor is lava" game and you do anything to NOT touch the floor. From chair to couch to table to countertop.
  
• "Hairballs are my gift to you." You may dispose of them, human, and consider yourself lucky.
  
• *like a Jedi mind trick* "The bed is for the caaaaaaats." The bed is for the caaaaaa-- WAIT!! It's working! No! Beds are for humans!
  
• "The dog is a total idiot." No, the dog is sane. That's the big difference.
  
• "Of course I didn't sleep all day." I call BULLSHIT! When I come home to my house and my cats are all inexplicably warm... it takes no great leap of logic to conclude they have been sleeping in the afternoon sunlight for hours.
  
• *another Jedi mind trick* "You must let me stay with you in the baaaaaathroom." Contrary to their belief, they will not perish if you don't let them watch you pee and bathe. But I'll admit, on more than one occasion I have broken down and let my cats join me. It seems like a trivial thing to make them content.
  
• "I'm a direct descendant of 'Bagheera', of the Jungle Book." Just because they are black cats does not mean they are children of an actual black panther of Asia of Africa. Warning, though, this is a big blow to their ego.
  
• "I still haven't eaten, human." This sounds familiar.
  
• "I own you." Well, maybe not such a lie.

What lies do they tell YOU?

Sarah